Almost 13 years after joining the Marine Corps, MSgt Rudd's marriage was crumbling as he and his wife were emotionally distant, he was not the father he wanted to be, and internally he was struggling with dealing with the violence he had witnessed and participated in. He was struggling with burnout, but on a deeper level he was struggling with a sucking chest wound of finding an elusive sense of satisfaction in life. What was the problem? It seemed the darkness would overtake this operator...